Thursday, August 28, 2008

Decisions… Decisions… Decisions…

Well, it’s been a while… I haven’t been able to write anything and at this point I honestly don’t know what to write. But perhaps I could share a bit. For previous days, I’ve been quite in the middle of choices and decision-making situations. Though perhaps, I don’t want to be detailed about it. Or, perhaps share a bit of my perception & thoughts of it, and a bit of feelings into it.

From my previous posts, I’ve written about choices and consequences, and definitely this one is connected to it. Having put the wisdom of carefully watching my choices and knowing the consequences of it, is definitely a must, or I may end up in trouble, possibly hurting myself or hurting someone else, or possibly in a road to disaster.

For the previous days, I felt I was always on a cross-road. Two roads that lead to an unknown destination, but with the given help from the Almighty, one could perceive the destination of each road. The hardest of the cross-roads we could face, would be each road, demanding a sacrifice. And, for some reason, there is no other road better than these. And so, in every decision made, sacrifices are also made. There are times, I would really wish I could take the two roads at one journey, but that can never be done. So I always have to decide with all the wisdom that I hope comes from God. Prayer of course is my only light and my hope that leads me to where God wants me to be.

At times, I find myself as well, thinking and imagining what would have been my brothers’ decision on this matter. Of course I still look up to my brothers and their lives as a guide to every step I would make. But to my surprise and recollect, I’m already at a different road than my brothers (Hehehe…). Other times, I look at other adult people on how they decide. But somehow at times, I see their immaturity instead. I don’t know why, but perhaps it’s because, it’s far from the Wisdom God’s Word has taught me on my early young childhood. It’s funny how I see, that as we grow, it seems we become more timid or lazy to learn, and become un-teachable. We most often stick to what we’re so comfortable, most likely, the routines we do. Truthfully, it just proves the principle of God’s Word “Train up a child in a way he should go, for when he is old, he shall not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. Meaning, when we grow up its hard to take off what we have been trained to be. But anyway, life is a continuous growth; so still, we could also change negative characteristics of our own. It is just a matter of the willing heart to really accept and face the problem or the challenge itself.

Well, back to decision-making. As I grow, truthfully so many things change, and so many things happen and decision-making has a very big part of it. Sometimes, I too envy the young ones, who simply go to school and study and everything. Everything is like only in one direction, not much crossroads. Truthfully, this is one thing I didn’t notice even from the time I was studying. The hardest part of a student is simply thinking and facing how to go through obstacles on that one road, whereas being adult, seems to put you to many intersections of roads, with different obstacles and different outcomes or results. And this definitely requires wisdom. Wisdom if I may define it as “doing the right thing at the right time for the right situation,” though that would be simply human wisdom. Far greater wisdom would be God’s Divine Wisdom, of course, that would be doing what God’s Will is at the right time and at the right situation.

The question now would be, “Do we really know God’s Will?”

I remember the Cantata we had “Experiencing God, Knowing and Doing the Will of God.” That era was indeed exhilarating & thrilling, as the Cantata not only provides something to sing, but something to learn from. Truly as me and my colleagues (hehehe.. as if) learn from it, I could see back and reflect on some experiences I have had. That experience, that truly God is there and has always been there, it’s just that at times, I never did notice nor recognize Him. And, now the lessons we learned definitely gave an impact to my life and I’m sure to others as well. But the question continues on… “How do we know Him?” or “Do we really know Him?” The Experiencing God, mostly known to my fellow Loakanian young people as “EG”, basic idea is, “knowing Who God is in our lives”. And, by knowing Who God is, we then can know His will. And by knowing His will, therefore we know what we ought to do. Problem is “Are we doing it? Do we desire to know His will? And, do we desire to know Him as He is?”

Knowing Him, His will and doing it, is practically a day-to-day basis. It never stops. And I wonder if it will even stop, even if we’re with Him already… probably not. Paul himself recognizes this as well, as he himself (even if he was learned enough) continuously desiring to know Christ more and more.

Philippians 3:7-12
But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

Hmmm.... I think we’ve gone too far from our topic. Anyhow, the matter is still connected, as what we know and believe definitely will affect our own judgments and on how we decide. Hopefully deciding what is God’s Will for us.

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