Weaknesses

Hmmmm…. If I remember, I once talked about “weaknesses” on my previous college subject Public Speaking. Quite unreal, but quite an experience, but somehow, it felt like I was preaching instead. I just wonder if my teacher noticed.

I do remember too writing about this, as part of an issue of the “Isyu Ngayon” newsletter of the AFC, headed by Ptr. Junpet (year… I don’t remember). And, I think this is one proof that I like to write things better than saying it (Hehehe!). In addition, a proof as well that I have my own weaknesses.

One is the fact that my mind thinks too much, yet my mouth doth not speak that much. As people say, I am but of few words to speak. As far as I can remember, I may be pictured as a loner, anti-social (kuno! Hehe!), one who always simply wear a smile on his face (though I think noon pa yun… nung nasa elementary ako! Hahaha!). These were the feedback towards me when I was younger, and perhaps some of it is still part of me, one reason, why at times I have pleasure of being alone, but alone with my God.

One weakness of mine on the sense of physical aspect would be me, being prone to sickness. I easily get sick, especially at the time of my youngest age. It is really hard to get sick. So I had to learn and try to be able to understand my own physical condition. As far as I know, I still have this physical illness, triggered by colds and dust.

Another weakness of mine perhaps, is the lack of will to do what I would want to do. Well, perhaps I think it’s the “Shyak mango!” influence on me. I just wonder if I could truly be able to get over such personality. As most Ibalois are known of, they are too shy, hard enough to come out of their own shell. Its truly seem to be hard.

And, in connection to this, is the weakness on communicating words. I can still remember that time I spoke in front for my Public Speaking. I believe I talked about my weakness on communicating words. I said, “I had so many words on my mind, but when I speak, not a word can be uttered by my mouth!” (Though perhaps it’s not the exact words, but it is almost the same.) Definitely that is true. I have so many words that I could think about, but I can’t seem to utter it. It’s like my mouth has its own mind of its own not to talk at all. But of course with much practice and prayers I was able to do well when I spoke for my public speaking. I looked at the reaction on my teacher when I spoke in front talking about my weakness; she seemed to have liked it. Not bragging but I think she was impressed, yet perhaps looked at it as irony. Since, I was able to speak well enough, loud and clear, talking about my weakness on talking or expressing myself. Perhaps I should thank the times I was really exposed on such kind of atmosphere, but mostly I would want to thank God for that matter. But I still don’t understand why I still continue to be unable to express myself much as others can express. As I have stated awhile ago, these weaknesses seem to have become part of me and seem to not depart from me.

And for this I turned to God and His word and found these verses:

2 Corinthians 12
7And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
8For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

In view of the world, the weak are to fall and be left behind, not worth looking at, neither be entertained. In other words, the world sees the weak to be nothing and useless. But God sees the weak, especially one of His own, as an opportunity, a vessel or an instrument of which His Name can be magnified and glorified. These verses explain further:

I Corinthians 1
26For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
27But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
28And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
29That no flesh should glory in his presence.

On the verses of 2 Corinthians 12, we could see Paul has his own “thorn in the flesh”. Some commentators say this is a physical disability or physical appearance, but whatever it may be, I still believe we could consider it as a weakness, something that makes him weak. And because of this, Paul wanted it to go away. Therefore he asked God to take it away, three times. But God answered “NO.” God’s grace was sufficient or enough for him. What does this mean?

Defining Grace would be “The free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God.” In other words, God would give freely and without limit the benefits of being His own adopted child to Paul, as long as Paul would depend on God alone. This therefore would lead us that we Christians should continually and daily depend on God, especially on times that we are weak. And with all our weakness, we ought to give it all to God and let His grace fill us and enable us, as daily as we should ask.

This is perhaps the secret of Christians, who do the unexpected of them. As a Christian, we have a Great and Wonderful God, The Great Provider and our Wonderful Savior. That even with our weaknesses, He makes us strong.

So, Christians, although we continue to have our weaknesses, I hope we would depend on our God, asking for His Grace and continually having a right relationship with our Father in Heaven, for in Him we are strong!

Choices & Consequences

In times of my self-reflections or self-evaluations, and as I look at the path I took (I mean the choices and decisions I made), I see that my choices have its own consequences or effect or say end-result. But sometimes, whenever we make decisions, we don’t often see its effect or consequences. I believe we all know this. Some consequences are positive, and some are negative.

In God’s Word we definitely could find many examples, from the very beginning of everything and from the very beginning of man. Man, with his own will decided to disobey and therefore had to face the consequences.

The consequences of our own doing or of our own decisions, we can never runaway from. The only thing that could be done is face it and accept it as it is. I remember David and his most dreadful decision in his life. He sinned against God and therefore must face the consequence God has laid upon him (Read 2 Samuel 12). David’s response on the matter is quite unbelievable.

2 Samuel 12:15 - 20
15And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.
16David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.
17And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.
18And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?
19But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead.
20Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.

Whether we face an itty bitty decision or a big one, we should make consideration of its consequences, especially if sin could be part of it. But sometimes, we too are deceived by what we see. Let’s just take an example on what happened between Abraham and Lot. Lot was given a choice to make, and he decided to follow what he thinks is best.

Genesis 13:10-13

10And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.
11Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated themselves the one from the other.
12Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.
13But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.

Lot may have had chosen the best land, but he had to face the consequences of his choice. He lived on a place where evil men dwell, his daughters never knew a man to be married with, his wife became a pillar of salt, and his daughters bore sons with their own father (Read Genesis 19).

Choices and consequences! We all should be careful of it. For as much as I know, God’s will is always the best and if you want His will, you must know Him as He is. And no matter what, the right response is most commended.

Now perhaps the question I would like to leave out is “How do we respond to the choices and consequences we already are faced with?” I hope we could respond same way David did. He worshiped the Lord.

Mercy, Grace and Compassion

For recent updates on the Midland crisis, certainly people are getting to know the real truth about what really happened. The people who gave Midland a challenge to face, by trying to boycott and try to destroy the integrity of the company, seem to lose their grounds and start falling. They are falling apart. Their deeds are starting to show up and people are seeing it. I just wonder? Will they truly give up? Will they humble themselves and accept their faults? It’s just that these days are the last days, as I believe. People will do everything to satisfy their wants or greed.

After Sunday has passed, own stories have been told. Some spoke of their own experiences, how they argued too with a stall owner, how fun it was to sell the paper, how they were able to sell all the paper, etc. But the conflicts continued.

The master minds of the boycott seem to have not realized that the Baguio Midland Courier management, staff & employees will not stand down upon their own terms. They tried to make negotiations, but with the great consequences (people losing a livelihood, people being threatened, people being shamed), negotiations was to no effect. They have truly failed and doomed themselves by their own greed.

Greed, a truly powerful instrument of temptation! Once you give in, it will corrupt you. Sin will always be the fruit of it.

But one thing I have in mind, God’s grace, mercy and His compassion. I remember the story of Jonah (Jonah 4). Having watched a kiddie movie entitled “Jonah, a Veggietales Movie,” this story greatly reminds me, and supposed to be. Christians being merciful and compassionate to other people, even if they are unworthy of it, just like our God. But Jonah, at the end, didn’t get it. He still became bitter and angry at the people of Nineveh, even if they already have repented. He didn’t get the point, that as one who follows and obeys God, he should also learn to give chances to other people, just as God has given another chance to repent the people of Nineveh.

Going back to the Midland issue, some news boys and stall owner seem to have regret of what they have done. I don’t know their hearts, but as what I have heard, some came to the office begging to give them a chance. My fellow workmates have told the story about them (the newsboys and stall owners) trying to ask or perhaps beg that their livelihood be given back. They said that their hands we’re even trembling, perhaps of shame and eating up their own pride. Even the one, who got angry at one of my fellow workmates, came to ask for forgiveness, as what I’ve heard. But I haven’t heard if the one who got angry with me and my workmate, came to ask forgiveness. Well, sorry for the hearsays. I have no real experience on how they begged for their livelihood to be given back.

Well, I can’t blame them for false information they may have been fed, but they also have to learn to seek the truth. Truly, they are pitied for it’s really hard to look for a work these days for living. As I have said previously, so many bills and costs are increasing. But sorry to those dealers who set their pride so high and head so big, the management has decided to not help them no more (if I’m right).

As I experience these situations I continue to be reminded of God’s Word telling of these times (II Tim. 3). And the hope we all Christians await.

1 Corinthians 15:52
In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

And perhaps soon we might face the “a piece of bread could buy a bag of gold” era but hopefully not. Hope that God will truly take His people before the Great Tribulation. But we must also be reminded of our mission, preaching the Gospel to the lost. But sadly to say, we are more focused and busy thinking about ourselves, rather than giving a hand to help or fighting one against another than reaching the lost.

A Stressful Day with a Wonderful Encouragement

June 1, 2008, I believe is one of my stressful days or perhaps one of which I had a hectic schedule of my activities, though I probably had much heavier and stressful days. So far, I forgot the others and this is just a recent thing that had happened and may be good enough to write about it.

Let’s start with the reason why I had a stressful day. It’s probably because of the fact that we had a problem with our company, of which I currently work, the Baguio Midland Courier. Previous Sunday, we had a notice public announcing that our cover price would be increased from P9.50 to P20.00, as decided by the management (It’s quite unusual I talk about work here… Hope nobody will sue me for talking about it… hahaha!). And, on May 28, 2008, our Management with the Dealers / Distributors had a meeting regarding the matter. And as far as I know it didn’t go well. People flared up, definitely because of disagreements (See midland editorial published this week – issue June 1, 2008). And, one basic reason why flare up happened would be, greed.

As from what I have heard, dealers and distributors of the Midland Courier wanted to increase the cover price than what has been announced, but still having able to maintain the price they are to pay. The management disagreed on the matter. And I believe their proposal was unreasonable. The fact that many prices have increased, why increase further the price of the paper? The 12.00 cover price is more reasonable to maintain. But it seems greed had its grounds, one reason which the meeting was pointless and without good outcome.

Here comes Friday and Saturday, news of dealers / distributors with their newsboys will boycott the Midland Issue on June 1, 2008. Therefore, the management and its employees had to take action on the matter. We still had to go on printing the paper with the confidence people will still look for it. And indeed, the people didn’t fail us. Their support on the paper is exquisite. Some perhaps did fail us, the ones who are greedy enough, wanting to put in their own hands the state of our company. People who are greedy enough even to succumb to corruption, and to the extent of broadcasting lies and false information against the company, and threat stalls who want to sell the paper.

Therefore on Sunday, we had to do our part and extend our support to the company. But as far as, I know, I am not that good as a sales man…hahaha! Anyway still, I extended my help whether on assisting or for simply as man power. Even with less sleep from the previous overnight work, I had to wake up early in the morning, as we should be starting to distribute the papers at around 6:00 a.m. in the morning. I set my alarm at 4:30 a.m., to find out I woke up at 5:30 a.m. (Hahaha!) seeing I set the alarm off, unnoticed. That’s one thing to laugh about. So I had to rush up things. Ate only one loaf bread and drink my tea. I know we also have our Sunday Morning Service, hopefully I could catch up.

Late as always, but still was able to help out. Funny I had to accompany some of my workmates to sell near a church. Hehehe! It was Saint Vincent (a church different from my denomination), and here, quite a compelling experience, a stall owner (if I’m right, though may be a newsboy too) got angry at us and tried to drove us out. He was at a peak of his rage. And I could do only was laugh at the circumstance since many we’re buying the paper at that time. My fellow work-mate was selling still at the same time arguing with the person. Anyway, arguing ain’t my line of style… So we had to go out of the gate and to sell a bit farther from where we used to be. It was quite a weird experience for me for just a few period of time, I experienced selling newspaper (possibly have to do the same thing again next Sunday… ouch!). But 9:00 am is nearing, and I had to go, taking with me about 30 pieces of newspaper, wondering if I could even sell something at Loakan. Shyness was a hindrance to me to sell that paper… Hahaha! But good enough someone noticed the paper I was carrying and was able to sell 2 pieces on the way home. I hate selling at the church, of course, it ain’t the right place, but still I took 10 pieces (hehehe!). Good thing, a friend of mine, Joy, took it & wanted to sell it (of course with the instruction to sell it later after the service). I had to do my part and concentrate on the worship service instead.

Here comes the wonderful encouragement I had, though perhaps in an unusual way. Ptr. Alex Villena preached that Sunday (though I thought someone else would speak). But anyway, he preached in a hilarious way. Quite unreal but it was a good message. It indeed talked about the last days, and our mission as Christians and the encouragement we can have from God. His message perhaps showed me, we are at the right track. I mean these things are to be expected. As from his text I John 2:20, truly we know the truth and therefore we must remind our self of that truth. There are so many truths we know and I believe we know the Truth, the Lord Jesus Christ, and therefore still a challenge is brought to us, as Christians. Yet, having the encouragement to continue on... stand still and know that God is our God.

We also had our Lord Supper at that Sunday and one stressful thing perhaps is me knowing that I am currently a deacon. (Golly! *nodding my own head, feeling of disbelief, while trying to be positive about it*) Deaconship, is quite a bit of a heavy burden and with the current situation of the Church, it’s hardly for me to know what God wills for the Church. But hopefully soon will come to a God-glorifying experience.

After the service, we went home, and I had to prepare for other matters. I attended a farewell party or despedida (tama ba spelling?) party of my fellow workmate at the same time having to worry about the evening service, as I was asked to make a program for tonight, and to lead the choir to sing. But I had to decide to designate instead, so as to focus on only one event. Well, things go on and things are done. Night has come and walking up toward my home, I re-evaluated on what happened through out the day. It was truly a long day for me. But reminded myself indeed the Lord draweth nigh!