Then he said to them all:
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves
and take up their cross daily and follow me."
(Luke 9:23)
This I write simply to express
my thoughts and observations in the ministry of our Lord Jesus Christ not to
generalize but may give a picture to some of our personal and daily struggles. By
this, it is my prayer that other Christians be informed of such struggles and perhaps
reflect on what may be our responsibility towards others, specially our fellow
laborers in the Lord. For sometimes, we think we already know and we’ve heard of
it but in effect we do not care. We do not care for the reason that it is in
our nature, it is in our flesh / carnality.
Nevertheless, God works in
mysterious ways and that He works in the hearts of people, whether the person
is His’ or not His child. All throughout in God’s written Word, God showed how
He works in all for our good. Remember Pharaoh, how God hardened his heart? Or,
Joseph’s brother who meant evil toward Joseph but God meant it for good? Or
even the kings in power, unknown if they are God’s people or not, like King
Nebuchadnezzar, King Darius or King Cyrus yet God has worked in their lives.
These are just proofs that God is at work in good or even in bad circumstances.
But the question perhaps
arises on this time, after 2000 years after Christ has ascended to heaven and
awaiting for His return, “Is God at work in the struggles of His servants?”
Most likely Christians know already the answer to this question. And the direct
answer is “yes”! But reality / circumstances of Christians often involves
doubts for the reason that Christians are not “omnipotent” or “omniscient”.
Furthermore, Christians daily suffer and face struggles in life even in the
midst of our service to God. Human logic will often kick-in and ask the
question “Why do I suffer and struggle when I am serving God?” These question
often pops up I believe when we are at a need. I would have to go in a personal
example for this because I or people close to me indeed face these circumstances.
My father is currently a local
missionary and a church planter. Right now, I assist him in the ministry and
get to learn how he handles the ministry at the same time see how God works
through his life. For almost 5 or 6 years, I’m amazed that even in his old age,
now 62 going 63 on June 2, 2016, God is still using him. But then, I also saw
his “thorn in the flesh” or his “evil days” (Ecclesiastes 12:1) become a
struggle. Seeing also that we are at a disadvantage in terms of finances, not
that I neglect God’s provision, but knowing that what I earn and my father’s
allowance is not enough to really provide for the needs in the ministry. It may
provide our needs on a personal basis, but the ministry is also costly. We
handle almost three (3) outreaches and sometimes there are people from
different places who desire we also minister to them. Not sure why but perhaps
because my father relates so much with our native / indigenous people.
Understanding and knowing the culture and traditions, my father most likely can
understand how our fellow natives think or behave. I on the other hand, do not
have abundant knowledge of those since I grew up under his Christian home, whereas
my father grew up in a pagan home. He was the first Christian and to experience
the hardship of being the first Christian in a home. We and our other relatives
have become the recipient of God’s blessings because of my father standing firm
of his faith and much more extending to others, friends or strangers, through
his evangelistic ministries.
Now? Even with my father’s
experiences how God sustained him, even at times he failed and fall short,
still we are hard-up in learning in trusting God. We continually are in the battle
of faith. Battle of faith whether God really provides our financial needs or
will God provide grace for us to go through it. For quite a long time, my
father is suffering from a diminishing bone at his back (don’t know what it is
called, I can only describe it) and just recently he is placed in a situation
of hiking and take part of tiresome activities like working (not the main
worker though, just supervising) to build chapel buildings and driving. With
not enough financial allowance, we are hard up in providing for his medications.
Because the doctor’s recommendation includes surgery and I think it’s even a
very dangerous one since it involves the spinal column. Added to this, are our borrowed
funds for the maintenance of our car which is used for the ministry. Transportation
is mainly needed in our ministries as we go to different places and the
vehicles we use suffer at some point. These are our current struggles and as I’ve
previously said that what I earn and my father’s allowance isn’t enough, a
reason why we had to solicit and ask from others for financial aid and
assistance. It is indeed a blessing seeing how God provides through people who
desire to help and partner with us, but sometimes makes me personally feel as
though we are beggars or like Apostle Paul would term as a “burden”. That is
why Apostle Paul himself had worked as a tentmaker to provide for his needs and
need not for churches to help him financially. Here is why at times I ask, “How
does God really provide our needs?”
Another struggle I observe is not
mine but for those believers who have unbelieving parents. This is the most
common struggle for the first or only believer of Christ within a family, which
I believe to be of greater struggle. A struggle I’m sure my father has an idea
and has surely been familiar with. Sadly, there are those people whom I know
who are still in this kind of struggle. Some still hanging, some I’m unsure. And,
I understand, it’s never easy. I get to hear or listen to our brethren and
their experiences of ridicule or mockery or oppositions from their love ones,
specially their unbelieving parents. And it is sad that many can’t handle the
pressure or can’t be victorious over these experiences of discouragements. And
it is sadder that churches don’t even know how to deal or even help the
brethren in such circumstances. As a result, they simply fade away and the
church doesn’t even notice. Sometime I, myself, don’t notice. Though we have
our personal struggles, it doesn’t give us excuse to forget our
responsibilities as members of the church. This is where I ask myself, “What
can I do?” Some would joke, “We indeed have many spiritual gifts and most have the
gift of discouragement.” Well, it’s not really a good joke but it pictures the
reality of churches these days. Those who have the gift of encouragement are
rarely found or even known to be extinct. As a result, we lose fellow laborers
of the Lord in the harvest field.
Well, these are just two of the
common struggles I know of. It is somewhat faith-disturbing but as I’ve
learned, these are also times of opportunity in strengthening our faith. Though
poses also a possible faith-deterioration which depends solely in the character
of who we really are, a real and genuine follower of Christ or as God’s Word
describes it as bastard / not really God’s child.
In the end, as a Christian, we
always have to remind ourselves of God’s love displayed on the cross - the love
that resulted in laying one’s life, Jesus’ life, for me and you. Though in
reality, we so easily forget and forget to magnify that great love that has
caused and resulted in our redemption. We forget the suffering, anguish and
pain Christ had to suffer. We forget that we were God’s enemies yet even when
we were His enemies, Christ died for us. Oh how, I pray we will never ever
forget, that Love of God that caused the blood of the Lamb of God to be spilt. But
then as the song says:
Lest I
forget Gethsemane; Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget
Thy love for me, Lead me to Calvary.