Weaknesses

Hmmmm…. If I remember, I once talked about “weaknesses” on my previous college subject Public Speaking. Quite unreal, but quite an experience, but somehow, it felt like I was preaching instead. I just wonder if my teacher noticed.

I do remember too writing about this, as part of an issue of the “Isyu Ngayon” newsletter of the AFC, headed by Ptr. Junpet (year… I don’t remember). And, I think this is one proof that I like to write things better than saying it (Hehehe!). In addition, a proof as well that I have my own weaknesses.

One is the fact that my mind thinks too much, yet my mouth doth not speak that much. As people say, I am but of few words to speak. As far as I can remember, I may be pictured as a loner, anti-social (kuno! Hehe!), one who always simply wear a smile on his face (though I think noon pa yun… nung nasa elementary ako! Hahaha!). These were the feedback towards me when I was younger, and perhaps some of it is still part of me, one reason, why at times I have pleasure of being alone, but alone with my God.

One weakness of mine on the sense of physical aspect would be me, being prone to sickness. I easily get sick, especially at the time of my youngest age. It is really hard to get sick. So I had to learn and try to be able to understand my own physical condition. As far as I know, I still have this physical illness, triggered by colds and dust.

Another weakness of mine perhaps, is the lack of will to do what I would want to do. Well, perhaps I think it’s the “Shyak mango!” influence on me. I just wonder if I could truly be able to get over such personality. As most Ibalois are known of, they are too shy, hard enough to come out of their own shell. Its truly seem to be hard.

And, in connection to this, is the weakness on communicating words. I can still remember that time I spoke in front for my Public Speaking. I believe I talked about my weakness on communicating words. I said, “I had so many words on my mind, but when I speak, not a word can be uttered by my mouth!” (Though perhaps it’s not the exact words, but it is almost the same.) Definitely that is true. I have so many words that I could think about, but I can’t seem to utter it. It’s like my mouth has its own mind of its own not to talk at all. But of course with much practice and prayers I was able to do well when I spoke for my public speaking. I looked at the reaction on my teacher when I spoke in front talking about my weakness; she seemed to have liked it. Not bragging but I think she was impressed, yet perhaps looked at it as irony. Since, I was able to speak well enough, loud and clear, talking about my weakness on talking or expressing myself. Perhaps I should thank the times I was really exposed on such kind of atmosphere, but mostly I would want to thank God for that matter. But I still don’t understand why I still continue to be unable to express myself much as others can express. As I have stated awhile ago, these weaknesses seem to have become part of me and seem to not depart from me.

And for this I turned to God and His word and found these verses:

2 Corinthians 12
7And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
8For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

In view of the world, the weak are to fall and be left behind, not worth looking at, neither be entertained. In other words, the world sees the weak to be nothing and useless. But God sees the weak, especially one of His own, as an opportunity, a vessel or an instrument of which His Name can be magnified and glorified. These verses explain further:

I Corinthians 1
26For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
27But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
28And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
29That no flesh should glory in his presence.

On the verses of 2 Corinthians 12, we could see Paul has his own “thorn in the flesh”. Some commentators say this is a physical disability or physical appearance, but whatever it may be, I still believe we could consider it as a weakness, something that makes him weak. And because of this, Paul wanted it to go away. Therefore he asked God to take it away, three times. But God answered “NO.” God’s grace was sufficient or enough for him. What does this mean?

Defining Grace would be “The free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God.” In other words, God would give freely and without limit the benefits of being His own adopted child to Paul, as long as Paul would depend on God alone. This therefore would lead us that we Christians should continually and daily depend on God, especially on times that we are weak. And with all our weakness, we ought to give it all to God and let His grace fill us and enable us, as daily as we should ask.

This is perhaps the secret of Christians, who do the unexpected of them. As a Christian, we have a Great and Wonderful God, The Great Provider and our Wonderful Savior. That even with our weaknesses, He makes us strong.

So, Christians, although we continue to have our weaknesses, I hope we would depend on our God, asking for His Grace and continually having a right relationship with our Father in Heaven, for in Him we are strong!