Tuesday, September 1, 2026

CHRISTIANITY, LOVE & MARRIAGE

I recently came across some posts about love and marriage from people who call themselves Christians and say that they follow Jesus and read the Bible. But some of the things they wrote made me stop and think.

The person believes that it is okay for a Christian to have a wife or husband with a different faith, especially a non-Christian faith.

I am not writing this to attack that person. And I am not writing this as someone who has experience in marriage—I am not married myself. So I am not here to speak as though I know marriage better than others.

Rather, I simply want to ask:

What does God's Word say?

Because when it comes to Christianity, the standard should not be my opinion, your opinion, or what we personally want Christianity to be.

It should be God's Word.

FIRST, WHAT IS CHRISTIANITY?

Before we talk about love and marriage, we need to understand what Christianity really is.

Christianity is not simply believing that Jesus existed.

It is not simply trying to follow some of His teachings.

It is not simply being a good person.

And it is not something we can redefine according to our feelings.

The Bible tells us that we are sinners.

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” — Romans 3:23

And because we have sinned against a holy and righteous God, sin has a penalty:

“For the wages of sin is death...” — Romans 6:23

We cannot remove that debt simply by becoming a better person. We cannot pay for our sins by doing enough good works.

That is why Jesus Christ came.

He died on the cross in our place.

He took the punishment that our sins deserved.

Isaiah prophesied about Christ:

“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities...” — Isaiah 53:5

And 1 Peter tells us:

“Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree...” — 1 Peter 2:24

Christ became the sacrifice for our sins.

He paid what we could never pay.

He died, was buried, and rose again.

And salvation is received—not by our works—but by putting our faith in Jesus Christ.

“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.” — Acts 16:31

So when we speak about Christianity, we are speaking about Christ.

He is not simply someone whose teachings we choose to follow when they agree with us.

He is Lord.

And if He is truly our Lord, then His Word must have authority over our lives.

That includes how we love.

That includes whom we marry.

And that includes the decisions we make even when our feelings tell us something different.

THEN, WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT LOVE?

There is nothing wrong with loving someone.

Christ commanded us to love.

But biblical love is much deeper than feelings, attraction, or simply wanting someone to be happy.

The Bible says:

“Love rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.” — 1 Corinthians 13:6

True love does not separate itself from truth.

Sometimes loving someone means telling them the truth, even when the truth is difficult.

So we should be careful when we hear:

“Love is enough.”

Because we should ask:

What kind of love?

And more importantly:

What does God say love should look like?

WHAT ABOUT MARRIAGE?

Again, I am not speaking from personal experience. I am simply pointing to what Scripture teaches.

The Bible warns believers:

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers...” — 2 Corinthians 6:14

I understand that the immediate context of this passage is broader than marriage. But the principle of not being spiritually joined with unbelievers has an important application when a Christian considers marriage.

And 1 Corinthians 7:39 gives us another important principle:

“...she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”

So the question for a Christian should not simply be:

“Do I love this person?”

We should also ask:

“Does this person know Christ?”

“Do we believe the same Gospel?”

“Will we be able to follow Christ together?”

“Will we be able to raise our children according to God's Word?”

Because marriage is not simply about finding someone we love.

It is about building a life together.

And if two people have completely different foundations concerning God, salvation, truth, and how life should be lived, that difference should not be treated as something small.

BUT WHAT IF YOU ARE ALREADY MARRIED TO AN UNBELIEVER?

This is also important.

What I have shared above is primarily a warning and a principle for those who are still choosing whom they will marry.

But what about those who are already married to someone who does not believe?

The Bible does not tell the Christian simply to abandon the marriage.

Paul addressed this very situation in 1 Corinthians 7:12–16. If an unbelieving husband or wife is willing to remain in the marriage, the believing spouse should not seek to leave simply because the other spouse is an unbeliever.

Paul even gives hope that the believing spouse may become a godly influence in that home.

“For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” — 1 Corinthians 7:16

So there is an important difference between preventing a wrong choice and faithfully living in a situation that already exists.

If someone is already in such a marriage, this is not a message saying:

“Your life is now hopeless.”

Rather:

Seek God.
Remain faithful to Christ.
Love your spouse.
Live according to God's Word.
And be a godly testimony in your home.

God's instruction for those who are choosing a spouse and His instruction for those who are already married to an unbeliever are not exactly the same.

For those who are not yet married, Scripture gives principles to help us make wise choices.

For those who are already married, Scripture gives direction for how to live faithfully in that situation.

Whatever situation we are in, Christ remains sufficient.

A WARNING FOR CHRISTIANS

Especially for young and new believers, please be careful with what you read—even when the person writing it claims to be a Christian.

Someone can say:

“I am a Christian.”

“I believe in Jesus.”

“I read the Bible.”

But those statements alone do not make every teaching that follows biblical.

We must examine what we hear through Scripture.

And that includes this post.

Don't believe something simply because I wrote it.

Open the Bible.

Read the context.

Study it.

Pray for wisdom.

And allow God's Word to correct you—even when it corrects something you personally want to believe.

The Bible should be the lens through which we understand our lives, rather than using our feelings as the lens through which we change the meaning of the Bible.

Because Christianity is not about creating a Jesus who agrees with us.

It is about surrendering ourselves to the Jesus revealed in Scripture.

If we truly belong to Christ, then our love should be shaped by Christ.

Our relationships should be shaped by Christ.

Our decisions should be shaped by Christ.

And even our deepest feelings must be brought under the authority of His Word.

So before we ask:

“Can I love this person?”

perhaps we should first ask:

“Am I truly following Christ?”

And before we say:

“God understands how I feel,”

we should also ask:

“What has God already said?”

May we never be satisfied with a Christianity built around our own opinions.

May we know Christ.

May we trust Christ.

May we love according to His truth.

And may we be willing to obey His Word—even when it goes against what our hearts want.

Because Christ is not merely our example.

He is our Lord and Savior.

 

No comments: